KiddMle

hello to anyone who reads my page. if you ever have a minute i'd love to talk about art. which is life.

as i write with fading ink, so far has my soul to sink, watch me devil i will not blink.

i hear my demon's whisper, "i've come from hell to feed you well."
do you wish me savor this despair and wrath i feel towards myself
should i be grateful for this regret?
may i never lie again, may i never speak again, may i never give myself away
like a subject to be tested, i handed myself over to be ripped apart
that i may pour my spirit as summers cry so i never disappoint you again
come civil spirits hear my mortal thoughts
i inhale a whiff in the dark
i see a gleam, a shadow's spark
a horned crown he placed on my head
"you are the lying sister," he said, "the seething queen"
he whispered satan into my ears and i received more than took in
i swallowed whole and let the poison words seep into my bones

as i write with fading ink, so far has my soul to sink, watch me devil i will not blink

i bite at which there is nothing left
no matter the wind i cannot pluck the weed of my intent
what beast was it that first turned failed attempts unto me
know the pain that bites the babe, that moves me
that which has made them drunk has given me fire
while they are quenched moans do mock their children whether they live or die
i had nothing else to give, how heavy with regret my heart is
i am locked in a black barred cage banging my head till the blood runs down my face like rain from a thoughtless sky
when i kissed her i was no longer alone
now she has been ripped from me and i am the one with the bloodstained bones
oh what more can i say, writing these stupid words making circles in my brain
wont you come erase who i am, my name
i will make no sound for when i do i am sinking ships and spewing poison
guiltless gluttony, selfish pity, so selfish all these years strayed, for fucks sake
make for the sewers live like rats feeding off decayed flesh and apple cores
roots as hot as blue fire burning hurt, painted pity city sink lower than dirt
ive aspired to cast down evil while behind closed doors ive secretly reveled in it
fascinated with shadows and scars, ive wallowed behind bars
pray thee tell me who my keepers be
swatted doors and still silent wind chimes, insects filling my shoes, no truer disgust than what my heart toils for thee
may the sweet words come to me and turn to bitter swords clashing like storms in your brain
when you hear these sounds and know their meanings, i want to see your blood drip from the ragged edges of these curses
words and never empty and talk is never idle, dear child be innocent of this knowledge
now i am captured in the crypt, ashamed i say, "i did this"

as i write with fading ink, so far has my soul to sink, watch me devil i will not blink

upon a thought i shall be well again, that which may pall the devil  is that which is the painting of my fear
what nightmare, a nightmare take any form but that, pray you speak worse and worse, i screech like a bat
save for the blood they say, what is the night fighting at odds withe morning, all curses shall give way
blood steeped in so far should i wade no more? strange things i have in mind, sleep?
no strange and self abuse. speak black withered hags, laugh to scorn the power of man
from this moment the very first things of my heart shall be the first things of my hand
a faceless mask, the seed of destruction, nothing will grow, as time lingers on we will have nothing to show
blood drips, one single drop from the star of horror, sweat and tears fall and still there is no fruit, no completion
a spiders web is my target, fine sticky thread strewn together with such delicacy and beauty
if i let go of my hatred then the person who ive been since that day disappears with it
i will not let it go, since that day, forever after, ive been running in the dark
we are stained, we are unclean, no creation without destruction is truly a wretched creature
it ended my happiness, for the memory is a bullet lodged in my brain
no matter how i struggle no matter where i turn
you want my soul? you're welcome to whatevers left of it
ive certainly put on quite a show but destruction is vital
it takes time to burn filth  and these are not revelations they are human sacrifices
an angels weapon is impurity, is the pain etched in me proof i had a life worth living?
slithering snake, quiver and writhe, sliver and slide, kill  her and hide
until the bitter end the emptiness inside her was hers alone
god if all this is a test we both know ive already failed
look at what you've done to me, you must be so proud of your work, devils veiled
i wear a decrepit smile, it seethes and i show my teeth as animals do to their enemies
i still remember what i miss, that dream, the electric kiss

as i write with fading ink, so far has my soul to sink, watch me devil i will not blink

[La Dispute- He Is Here And He Is Not Afraid.
i've had this song on repeat for days]

we move by instinct, darling

let our eyes like lepers drive

the doubters from our homes and

into the bottom of the sea.

and we speak in signals, darling

let our smoke
stitch pictures, let us

twist in patterns, dull the horror

of a city still on fire.

for we are like medics

handling suicide

by cyanide with bleeding fingers.
let us suffer
completely inadequate.

and we move like lovers,
let me run my fingers down your side
and kiss you right below the eye.

we sleep with shadows but
we never give them bread.

horror, dress yourself in shame
or i will tear a hole in you, you harlot.

burn your eyes,

(i will hold your white-washed bones unto the sky and scream
"oh god, if you are there,
i hold this body to your judgment--
give it your wrath or your mercy.
but please pick wrath.

But I guess you understand man, we had no choice
I'm tired of fighting with the hands I've been dealt

so I take the cards they deal me
I keep my protest on the inside of my mouth

When you looked at the light, did it hurt you

like it hurt me?



"But he somehow keeps smiling in spite all of that,


while I keep finding ways to push the good out for the bad


Oh, how selfish of myself to always say that it was more than I could take,


like it was pain I could not shake,


like it could break me with its fingers, throw my body in the lake,


and I would slowly sink away


but the Truth is it was sorrow that I made and would not face.


See, I keep falling for the future after tripping on the past.


And I am always tearing sutures out to make the anguish last like it defines me.


Or reminds me I've found comfort in my suffering


and uncertainty in happiness and death,


because what's next is such a mystery to me.


I am terrified of all the things I feel but cannot see."

the secretary inside my brain is on break so im insane my feelings are split apart so i have an aching heart my mind plays tricks on me and monsters are all i see