you want to save me, but i am
I've lived my life so uncomfortably
comfort me comfort me
calm down, come down here
shhhhhswallow my anger
replace it with fear
put myself in danger
then only wanting more
i scream until my throat is sore
"oh god, if you are there,
i hold this body to your judgment
give it your wrath or your mercy
but please pick wrath
underneath the laughs there lies a need
that nobody is getting."
then she said
to the ghosts in her head
I will find the edge
I will force my fingers in
(come out & plaaaay)
please go away
please go away
I really don't feel like playing today
The venom that slips from your lips
Your tiny lies shinning in your eyes
Pain in my veins shallow, hallow incarcerated soul
I sleep too deep you to wake me up
Oh dear god wake me up wake me up wake me up
rip me apart
make me a piece of Your art
look at me
(she said with a scream)
please, kill me quicker
(she said with a whisper)
All curled up inside, fingers through blond hair
don't get too comfortable in that hospital chair
She drew on her paper her pencil
moving slowly her blond hair falling
in front of her face half-japanese girl
silently recording her best memory
blue eyes reflecting off the hospital lights
She's not wanting the responsibility of
her life anymore Ready to end it all if
they would only let her leave their white
walls and tiled floors Psychedelic
mirrors of images stored in her mind
I love to watch you draw them
Japanese half-girl you're so pretty
and strange I wish I could trample your
circling worst memory
bastard who robbed you of what's
rightfully yours Your worth is not defined
by how much you've been hurt, stand
on your tip-toes to maintain your life
to live your right to live
half-japanese girl if you were to
dangle from that string of yours
I would close my eyes and kiss
your soul and say a prayer of goodbye
Maintain your strength to live
house of secrets
iim burning alive but still,
they're the ones to die
television eye watches the sheep people sleeping...
onlyy their minds keeping
ugly thickness seeping
keep me spiining and turning
kept inside bipolar lights
turn them on, then we can start the real bburning
this is just how business goes
and this is all it is rigght
just business and shows
my fear and ...
my mind, split apart.....
my love, and my aching heart...... my pain and shame
all just profit for the gain
it's all the same.
"ii think you saw me,
[and eye think it was a sunday morning]
confronting my fears what with
[and eye think both my parrents were still asleep]
upwith the bottle and down with the beer and
i think you ought to stay away from here
[eye was gonna play sick so i didnt have to go to church that day]
there are ghosts in the wall and they crawl in your head through your ear"
[and he said shhhhh]
a labrynith built beneath the
Preaching to a demon huh?...
you're one messed up angel.
child-like in its purity
so much that it hurts.
a night which would have driven
even an angel insane, you.....
And so as not to be ashamed of one's name
one works very hard to make this "worthlessness" deadly
So this is hell then.....
my true self, i am my own creation, i am self-made
Whatever is it that is calling me....
will it all be made clear here?
What should I do
I can't exactly ask for help anymore!
At a time like this...
maybe someone will come and rescue me again...
hah I'm dayy dreaming about impossible things again.
i've tried not to ask for protection, i know i dont deserve it
bbut sommetimes iit sslips myy miind tto rremember
im; im crying for comfort im longing for some normality
It's almost like a dream
here at the ends of the world...in this god-forsaken place..
why are you here?
whom are you crying for?
This is the scream of the monsters
a place that i once feared
The funny thing is, Sorrow lived.
After a little over ten minutes of getting shocked back, she breathed again.
Deep, sudden and ragged....but breath.
And breath meant life. And slowly, they brought her back, she opened her eyes and looked around, focusing on the faces staring at her with mingled shock, relief, left over worry and disgust.
Sorrow took a sweeping look around the hospital room and when she realized what had happened,
she didn't cry and say sorry. She didn't go on to say how she needed help.
sorrow screamed. a terrible throat-ripping scream she couldn't hold back
She threw her head back and thrashed on the bed, "NO! NO! NO!!!!!"
The nurses called for help as they tried to restrain her, her family retreated to the corner of the room, frightened and wishing they had never tried.
White suited security guards rushed in and fought against sorrow in a struggle to tie her to the hospital bed.
She shouted and yelled herself hoarse, "I-I....I DIDN'T WANT TO WA
i've left me no choice
i've got nothing else to bring
i....i'll never stop searching for my unseen beauty, must be hiding in my bones
am so scared
i'm so scared
and you're not seeing
waking up with a scream from a drowning dream
and you're not hearing
yyou ddon't hhear tthem?
never once been beautiful
"not all that matters" ?
yes it is
i'll make up for it
you you'll see
i feel like all you sheep
are laughing at me
look at my tongue looking for a message
god must be dead or not as great as they say he is
[i'll get revenge i'll get revenge i will be avenged i will be avenged]
i'm either, either or must be sleeping
stuck on repeat
starving myself empty
open wide look inside
my autopsy, what do you see?